I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize