It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
