you guys were way drunker than both of me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
