They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
