A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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