im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
