I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize