can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
