I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
