C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize