You're my little dorito
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
