He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
