Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize