Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
There's even glitter on my cock...
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