bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
