At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
