Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
