There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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