look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
