So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
