Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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