Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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