think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
