i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
