I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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