i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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