I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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