her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
