they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
