dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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