i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
