I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Panties = found
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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