3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
