is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
