So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
