chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
