So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
