your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
