I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
