I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
