a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize