Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
