where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i already hear my dad disowning me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
