So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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