My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize