Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
