she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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