every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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