i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
