he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
