i think my mom watched the whole time
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
