I haven't been this sober since birth.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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