Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's shark week go big or go home
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
