It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
