I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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