dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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