dude i'm inner monologue high
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What a dumb baby whore.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
