And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize