he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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