I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
