I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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