I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
