I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
