im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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