Kiss
Puke
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
