it's not cheating when I paid for it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I supernannyed him into submission
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize