I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We had sex on a dog bed..
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
