it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
