fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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