Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
