Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
