you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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