So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
