they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
