I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
